Friday Fashion Faux Pas...Fat Wallet...NO!

For some reason, some men believe that in lieu of a man purse, he may stow as much crap as he likes into that foldover sensation that resides in his back pocket called a wallet.  Well guess what?  Stop!  It is not a catch-all!  And it's not a "just in case I ever need it in my life" storage facility.  Stop!

Does your wallet look like this?

If it does, you need some help.  I'm sure there is a Fat Wallets Anonymous Group somewhere (my name is Schlepdog and I have a fat wallet), but let me help you save a lot of time and effort.  This is a little like the fanny pack.  There are certain specific items that every man most definitely should have on his person at all times...in his wallet.  Then there is a list of many, many unnecessary items.

Let's go over what you need first:

1 American Express Card - Personal
1 Credit Card - Business
1 Visa or MasterCard - (You don't need both)
1 Debit Card
1 Health Insurance Card
1 Dental Insurance Card

That's it folks! What about cash you say?  Well, that goes folded nicely in your trusty money clip in your front pocket.  We're going to cover money clips in a future post.

Here are some things I'll bet are in your wallet that don't need to be:

Cash - we covered that already
Receipts - all receipts are available on-line should you need them later
Additional Credit Cards - yes, you can pitch the Discover Card
Social Security Card - Really?  You can't memorize that number?
Coupons - nope
Buy 10 get 1 free sub cards - you  may have one if you insist...but no more!
Loose Change - this isn't a coin purse.  Put it in your front pocket.
Photos - surely you have a phone with plenty of photo access
Prophylactic - Only if you're under 22, then I'm on board with this one.
Foreign Currency - only if you travel internationally once per month!

Now I know you do sometimes need some of the stuff listed above or things I haven't thought of, but they do not belong in your wallet on a regular basis.  Make a spot in your dresser drawer for these additional items and then carry as needed. 

The concept is to get that wallet as thin as possible.  I just measured my wallet and it is 3/4 of an inch thick, and I'm thinking of getting rid of a couple of things to go thinner.  This will keep a nice smooth line on your trousers and won't pull your pleats on the front.  Carry only the necessities and your whole body line will look nicer and those weird back pains you're having may go away as well!

My Wallet

I do carry a couple of sentimental items, but I assure you they don't take up much room.  In my wallet is a $2 bill given to me when I graduated from high school for good luck.  I also have a fortune cookie insert that means a lot to me.  So carry some extra junk so long as it does not increase overall wallet thickness.

Fortune Cookie - "You and your wife will be happy in your life together" - so I got that going for me!

Here's what your wallet should look like, in a few acceptable versions:

And there are no circumstances where hard candy should ever be allowed in the wallet!  Remember...George Costanza was basically the town idiot of New York City!

So start cleaning out those wallets Men!